day twenty six

Day 26. 103.35 miles to date. And today was the first woofer.

I’ve been putting one foot in front of the other for going on 20 years now. I’ll never forget some of the milestones. Age 8(?) mom’s words- “all this running with your dad at such a young age can’t be good for your bones” or something like that. It was 20 years ago so it’s a little muddy. Age 13(?) first 10k. Track one year in junior high. Cross country my last year of high school. Breathtaking, no? I’m sure you’re on the edge of your seats. A few dozen 5k’s, 10k’s, half marathons, a sad sad sprint tri, 3 marathons, 1 “ultra” and a baby later I find myself here. Training for marathon number 5. Today. Day 26. The woofer.

The elusive BQ still perpetually on the horizon. I can remember a handful of workouts that felt like today in my past. The ones where I knew I wasn’t going to hit my goal. Didn’t. (Self fulfilling?) And felt super poopy not doing it. Sorry about the mommy lingo. Anywho, got up at the arse-crack of dawn (for me) dragging my already heavy feet (a story for another day) for the next 2 hours of torture. I didn’t actually run for 2 hours, but I might as well have.

But the last 25 days have been wundebar. A term my mama used to use. It’s the first consolidated effort I’ve made since our blessed little miracle made her debut a year ago last tax day. Months you ask. 13. Weeks? Yeah right. I’m a runner not a blogger. But the training days-they really have been good. Been throwing in lots of variable quality exercises, keeping things super fun! Decent cross training. I’ve been good about my stretching and various other ancillary work. The stuff really does help! Nod to my pal Lisah over at I’ve been loving her podcast btw: The Conscious Runner. Never felt better getting back into shape IN MY LIFE. And I feel like I’m always getting back into shape.. On the whole, things have been rockin, but this morning hit me like a tons of bricks.

Mondays are my track days. Considering moving them to Tuesdays. Not sure one day (Sunday) of rest is enough for me after my long runs on Saturdays. Thoughts? Maybe I should throw in an easy run on Mondays instead? Or make Monday my bike day to ease back into the weekly grind? I’m not sure. It’d been going fine the last few weeks so I decided to try out the Yasso 8s, as I lovingly refer to them. To try and mask the fact that I’m going to be running 10×800 meters at marathon goal time: 3:30:00. HA! I’ve done them before with a similar result. Not having the endurance to make it through the entire workout. However, this time, add to that the shame of not being able to finish any at goal time and at a significantly slower pace than my goal. Hangs head. I was able to get through 5 and at 3:50-3:55 each.

Here’s some inner dialogue for you. Mentally I was in trouble from the start. Morning runs and hydration are a constant conundrum lately. Post baby has made it even more delicate.

Warm-up mile-“seriously bladder!? I just emptied you before we left!”

800×1-“Yep crap.. Well, it should go away. I read somewhere your kidneys shut off during exercise”

800×2-“False to above. Every heavy foot-fall feels like a sledge hammer to gut”

Mid-workout, mile long trot to the nearest, nastiest, public restroom, opting for the turdis (aka porta-potty) next door. Welp that intermission sucked.

800x3xlap1-“Mmmmm much better”

800x3xlap2-“Starting to feel seriously winded”

800x4xlap1-“So glad the middle schoolers are done for the summer and not around to gawk. Again. I think I can make it to… 5″

800x4xlap2-“Only 3 more laps of this torture to go…”

800x5xlap1/lap2-“you can do anything for 2 laps/1 lap”

In the end I walk jogged home and felt totally dejected..

But I have learned a little self-love since baby E came around. I mean come on, I built a human! Boom! Running has become a lot more fun and I gave it my best today. I really did. I try to check in with myself and see if the current struggle I’m going through is really a point to stop or some other stressor rearing its ugly head. Usually fear. Not all workouts feel great, but ALL days I hit the pavement work out. And that is something. The quote in my sidebar reminds me of how lucky I am to be able to do what I do with the amazing body I have. So smile my friends and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

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