Got completely pissed on on my run yesterday. Nostalgia for my beloved PNW running and gratitude for my normally dry climate were warring within me. Pockets of hail leaning me in favor of the dry, sections of soft, misty, small-dropleted showers reminding me favorably of running the hills of my hometown.
For the last month+ I’ve been taking a pretty solid break from running. A thorough and committed physical therapy regimen has, for the most part, taken its place. I am, however, getting slightly discouraged. Prior to this break I completed my 5th marathon with zero pain throughout the entire race. I went fast (for me) and felt super strong the whole time! Leading up to the race I had a slight injury at the achilles tendon. And I believe my form is at the root of the issue. But the feeling was a mere creaking sensation. Now, after a month+ of running 0 miles for 3 weeks and then last week starting to run 1-1.5 miles 2-3 times/week and this week only up to 2 miles 3 times/week, I am beginning to experience intermittent pain, where no pain was before! I am angry because I’ve taken off this much time running and losing fitness, angry because I have dedicated literally hours every freaking day to their protocols and angry because I have had to pay for it not working too! I have given them 110%, which “they” always say “the reason people don’t get better in PT is because they don’t do the stuff”. I am here to tell you I am doing the stuff! When I go in (3 days/week I might add) they are amazed how many stretches and strength pieces I have on my chart. I am never there for less than 2 hours. On top of that, I do all the stretches and strengthening on my off days too sometimes twice/day, including short runs on those day.
To their credit, last time I went in I insisted they check my hips because, though I have relatively no pain there, when I do certain stretches I feel limited range of motion on one side and a pinching, painful feeling in both. After checking, it was confirmed that 1 leg is a little shorter than the other. My piriformis (the belly of the muscle on the affected leg side and insertion point of the other) is extremely tight. Next the therapist performed some manipulations and she said they were looking better, but obviously not perfect and that would take time. Sigh. This is a real issue though. The achilles, I believe, is a symptom of the imbalance. We have been working hard on correcting my form and this issue seems to be impeded by my screwed up hips. So I’m extremely frustrated, but I think it might still be beneficial to continuing with the PT, maybe with some adjustments.
Stale, comes from a lack of inspiration I have had to write. This blog has been a huge part of my life lately and it seems not running has made it harder for me to write as well! I would find so much inspiration in a daily run. Ideas just seem to flow, but now I feel stuck. Though I really have given myself over to the hopeful wisdom of this physical therapist there has been a lingering doubt that seems to be growing as I hope I illustrated above. Writing about something I don’t entirely believe in makes me feel like I’m not being true with you all and myself. And transparency is of utmost importance to me.
So this is where I am.
Hopeful that it will return, but discouraged about when that will be because I don’t know when I can really get back out there and start building my miles back up. It’s funny how when you can’t have something it’s all you can think about.
QsOTD: Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation: unable to do what you love, whatever that is? Has anyone ever had a similar situation with this type of imbalance or injury like mine? Any encouragement for continued PT or something else entirely?